Why I’m Not Open About Being Non Monogamous

I haven’t told my friends & family about my open marriage

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

There are a lot of people online and in real life who have ‘come out’ of the non monogamous closet. They are very open about their non monogamy and do things like post pictures of their triad online and introduce their partners to their families. I am respectful and in admiration of these people. And also in awe because I have had a much harder time coming out about my non monogamy. There are only a few people in the entire world who know I am non monogamous in real life: my husband, my other partners, and my therapist. Otherwise, it is a state secret from all my friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and even hairdresser.

And for all the people on Twitter using the #nonmonogamy hashtag, I suspect there are many other people like me. Other people that are very quiet and private about their non monogamy, both online and in real life. In fact, I think there are a whole bunch of us leading very secret, private lives within our relationships. A whole bunch of us still in our non monogamy closet.

So, why is it so hard to come out about non monogamy for some of us and not for others?

Here are some of the reasons I have struggled to open up about my non monogamy.