A look back on four years of non-monogamy: Is it obvious where things went wrong?
I’ve been going back and re-reading all my older posts, especially the ones in which I describe the early days of how we ended up opening up. I am looking to refresh my memory on how we decided to open up, who wanted what, and who initiated it. I am also trying to make sense of how we ended up here.
Part of this exploration is spurred by a very harsh comment that someone left in response to one of my recent posts*. This man (and yes, I do want to identify his gender as I find his comments highly representative of toxic masculinity) accused me in his comment of being “delusional” and a “vengeful villain, and of painting myself as a “poor, poor pitiful victim”.
So in an attempt to understand how I got here, and also to explore whether the sharp criticisms aimed (flung? thrown?) at me are valid, I have been going down memory lane. Are there clues buried in my posts that shed light on what went wrong? Is it obvious where we screwed up? Is it obvious how I screwed up? How did we end up with a relationship on the rocks?
More than 25 years ago, we met. Four years ago, we started exploring non-monogamy. And four years later, we are close to ending our relationship. What happened over that time?
