Am I Non Monogamous For All the Wrong Reasons?

How five questions helped explore my motivation for opening up

Photo by Burst on Unsplash

I recently read an Instagram post from a sex and relationship coach (@baeleche_) that really made me think. I stopped mindlessly scrolling through all the posts, and stared down at her words almost in a trance. Her post asked 5 questions centred around one’s motivation to be polyamorous. I suddenly wondered: had the reason to open up my relationship been for all the wrong reasons?

I’ve given her questions a lot of thought and I decided to answer them as honestly as I could.

(One little note before I start: the instagram post posed the questions using the word “polyamorous”, but I have re-worded and used non monogamous, as I wanted to be inclusive of other types of non monogamy.)

Question 1: Are you non monogamous or need to open up other passions in your life? Oh, 100% for sure my life lacked passion before we opened up. I was well into the dreaded middle years of parenting, my job and my relationship with my husband. We had collectively, as a family, entered the humdrum stage of life of just mentally getting-by. The kids were at an age where they didn’t need me 24/7 and were all starting to lead slightly more independent lives. I found myself with a lot more energy and free time on my…