Are you non monogamous because you’re vain?
When I wrote my first Tinder profile and included details on being a 40+ year old non monogamous, married mother-of-three, and accompanied it with a blurry picture of the back of my head, I didn’t really expect that a lot of men would be swiping right on me. But I was wrong. They came in droves. Within days I had a little icon at the top of my Tinder page indicating that 99+ men had right-swiped me.
And with that little icon, all my insecurities about being too old, too much of a mother, too married, not attractive enough, unsexy, too fat, not worthy, not interesting enough, disappeared. Voila. I was popular! I was desired!
When I started meeting some of these men (not all 99+!) in real life my ego continued to be boosted. I heard many compliments. More compliments, in fact, on those dates than I had heard in aaaaaages. My husband, dear man that he is, does not give out compliments liberally. A “you look nice” when prodded sufficiently is about all I ever get. And, if you want the truth-truth, I had probably scared him off of complimenting me because I was more likely to reply with a snarly “what do you want?” than a “thank you” if he ever did.
So getting the attention of men, who either because they were naturally more comfortable handing out the compliments, or because they were genuinely attracted to my incredible…
