Member-only story
Can swingers not be vanilla?
Navigating my comfort zones in the lifestyle
When I first dipped my feet into the world of swinging, I encountered an unexpected challenge that left me wondering if I had a place in the community. As I explored various online platforms, like FetLife, I couldn’t help but notice that they seemed to cater to individuals who were waaaay more at ease than me with displaying their sexuality. As I scrolled through the profiles I saw countless explicit pictures, featuring women in various provocative poses, straps and contraptions, and people engaging in steamy sexual encounters. And that was totally fine. I didn’t have anything against those pictures per se. If a woman/couple is comfortable having their picture taken and posted that’s fine and I’m not judging at all.
It’s just that it’s not for me.
Call me a prude, but I am personally not comfortable posting these kinds of pictures. Actually, if I’m being totally honest, I’m not comfortable even having my picture taken in these kinds of poses let alone posting them online. Maybe I’m a overly prim and proper. Maybe I’m not comfortable with my body and my sexuality. Or maybe I am sexist. It’s possible that I buy in to the belief that these types of pictures depict women as suppressed sex symbols. I don’t know why these pictures make me uncomfortable exactly, but I am…
