Is It Weird to Be Non-Monogamous and Not Really Into Sex?

Liz Sinclair
5 min readMar 7, 2024
Photo by Gio on Unsplash

I recently went out on a second date with a polyamorous guy and things progressed quickly such that I found myself in his bed for an impromptu sexual connection that evening. Two days later, he messaged me to see if I wanted to come over again that night for some more fun. A classic booty call so to speak. As I thought about how to respond to his message, it dawned on me that I hadn’t been particularly clear with him about what I was looking for, my availability or about my sexual preferences.

So I told him.

I told him I was looking for a connection that went beyond just sex, and was interested in things like good ol’ dating, eating out and going for walks, and not just looking for a sexual partner.

I also told him that with my full-time job, parenting responsibilities, and the rest of the things that generally keep a woman busy, I was unlikely going to be able to see him more than once a week at the moment.

And finally, I told him that while I liked sex, my sexual appetite is not the highest, and that I would put myself more on the lower end of the spectrum for desiring frequent sexual experiences.

His response was kind and graceful. He thanked me for having made my boundaries so clear. He said he appreciated my honesty and directness and that…



Liz Sinclair

Ordinary, middle-aged, university educated, working mother of three in a long-term loving marriage. Oh, and also non monogamous.