Don’t Take One for the Team & 10 Other Tips for New Swingers

What you need to know before you start meeting other couples

Photo by Max Andrey on Unsplash

It’s hard enough trying to make a connection with one person when you’re dating, but a four-way connection is a whole different ball game. My husband and I have been non monogamous for about three years but we’ve mostly done our own solo stuff. Recently we decided that we wanted to explore more activities as a couple and started meeting other couples for four-way connections. As we’ve explored, I’ve learned a few things about swinging:

1. Don’t take one for the team. My husband and I recently connected with another couple online. The eve of our first date, I was pretty nervous about the four-way dynamic. The reason? Well, she looked gorgeous in pictures and I was quite sure my husband would be very attracted to her but I didn’t think her husband would be my type. Sure enough, the date proved that first impression to be true. And that, my friends, is what makes swinging tough. It’s not just a two-way connection that makes it work. It is a very complicated web of connections that needed to work between me and him, me and her, her and my husband and, him and my husband. It’s like four first dates going on all at once. The cold hard fact is, if the connection is not there for one, it can’t be there for the four. It can be…