The Storm Inside: Jealousy in a Non Monogamous Relationship
Our experiences with raging jealousy and what we did about it
There is almost universal agreement on this aspect of non monogamy: if you’re in a non monogamous relationship assume you will feel jealousy at some point.
When we first opened up our relationship and became non monogamous, I was pleasantly surprised by how easily I could handle the jealousy. I’d watch my husband text with another woman, or get ready for a date, looking cleanly shaven, smelling good and all dressed up as he left the house, and feel a little twinge of something in my tummy, and pat myself on the back for being able to handle the jealousy.
Little did I know that there are different triggers and that jealousy comes in all shades; from twinge in the tummy to raging, mind-blowing painful spears of jealousy that ravage your intestines.
But before I tell you what happened, I want to start this post with a few definitions. I know we all think we know what jealousy is. But I’ve noticed it’s often confused with envy. It’s also the opposite of compersion, which is a word I heard for the first time only a few months ago (and that my computer tries desperately to auto-correct to “comparison”). So just to be totally clear on what I mean, here are a few definitions:
