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If I could have a do-over, would I still consider non-monogamy?
As many of you know, my marriage ended about a year ago after my husband chose his new partner over me. While we were non-monogamous and he technically didn’t cheat, I’ve become another unfortunate cautionary tale of how open relationships can backfire.
In the year since our split, I’ve spent countless (often sleepless) hours analyzing what went wrong.
The easy answer is non-monogamy, and it’s tempting to draw a straight line from opening our relationship to its demise → we weren’t on solid ground to begin with, we met new people, fell in love, and gradually drifted apart until our primary bond dissolved.
As you can imagine, when we first opened up, friends warned us we were “playing with fire.” They insisted we were jeopardizing our marriage by sleeping with others, practically inviting disaster.
I understand their perspective, but I’m truly hesitant to place allllll the blame on non-monogamy itself.
That said, I can’t deny that it played a role in our breakup.
Non-monogamy unarguably exposed our weaknesses as a couple. It contributed to a growing distance between us and we paid less attention perhaps to underlying relationship issues we should have addressed. Ultimately, and significantly, it led to my…
