Is my metamour to blame for the breakdown of my non-monogamous marriage?
This question has been keeping me up at night: Is my husband’s partner, my metamour, an innocent bystander or partly responsible for the shit-show that my relationship with my husband has become?
First and foremost, let me be clear and unequivocal. I refuse to fall into the trap of believing that my husband fell under another woman’s spell or is a helpless pawn who was lured away from me. He is entirely responsible for his actions, and he acknowledges that fact.
The problem for me lies in his belief that his new partner bears no blame. He thinks the issue is solely between me and him, and his new partner is not responsible at all. For months, he has asserted that her entry into the picture coincided with his growing discontent with our relationship and his desire for change. His only concession is that she acted as a “catalyst,” expediting his awareness of what was wrong in our relationship.
He admits that his relationship with her has impacted us, but he staunchly defends her as blameless. He claims she’s done nothing wrong.
The thing is, I just don’t buy it. I hold her at least partially responsible for the upheaval in my relationship with my husband.
