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Our Second Attempt at Non Monogamy Rules

Our new rules reflected the mistakes we made the first time around… but would they work?

Liz Sinclair
5 min readApr 10, 2022
Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

In an earlier post I shared a list of my first set of non monogamy rules [read it here]. My husband and I had written them together just before opening up our 20+ year marriage for the first time. It was a big step towards exploring non monogamy for us. We were super excited and confident about our rules. But, they sucked, like big time. Within months of opening up our relationship we realized that our rules had not protected our relationship the way we had intended them to.

So we pulled out the rule book and started over again.

This time though it was really hard. By the time we wrote them we were on pretty shaky ground as a couple. Probably because our first set of non monogamy rules had left us wide open to deceit, betrayal, jealousy and a number of other nasty emotions. Instead of writing this list of rules together over beers, we each worked on them separately. We then fought over them. It took a while but we finally were able to come up with a list of rules that we were more or less happy with. But there’s no doubt, the final list reflected a lot of compromise.

There are waaaaaayyyyyy more rules in our version 2.0. They are also more detailed and…

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Liz Sinclair
Liz Sinclair

Written by Liz Sinclair

Ordinary, middle-aged, university-educated, working mother of three in a long-term loving marriage. Oh, and also non-monogamous. Ohhhh, and now also divorced.

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