Repeat after me: Non-monogamous people are not necessarily easy

Photo by Taylor Harding on Unsplash

It seems like such a simple concept, but for some reason, it’s a difficult one for some people to grasp. As a non-monogamous woman who’s been on her fair share of dates, I can tell you that many people wrongly assume that non-monogamous individuals are only interested in casual sex.

Okay, yes, I know. I’m a woman, non-monogamous, and I’m actively dating. I am unarguably looking for someone to have “fun” with. The problem is that I’ve noticed that a ridiculous number of men are making a lot of assumptions about what that “fun” is. In fact, a shockingly high number of men I have dated seem to think that “fun” means “easy”.

Here’s the thing: my definition of fun is not necessarily the same as every other non-monogamous person’s. Even if it was, that still wouldn’t give anyone the right to cross my physical boundaries without my consent.

Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this a lot in my dating life. Many men assume that because I’m non-monogamous, I’m also promiscuous and willing to do anything with anyone at any time. Some of the men I date are really (and I mean really) quick to cross my physical boundaries. For example….

A guy grabbed my ass on a first date as we were walking to our table behind the hostess (and, for the record, I did not want him to grab my ass…