Riding the ups and downs of non-monogamy’s roller-coaster
When you’re non-monogamous, it’s hard to get everything right. Despite best intentions, the intricate web of emotions, feelings, lust and desire among multiple people sometimes gets a bit complicated. It sometimes gets very complicated.
Recently, if you ask me, my husband has majorly screwed things up. He’s fallen in love with a new partner and it’s caused havoc in our previously (mostly) stable non-monogamous arrangement. A year ago we were happy’ish. Now, well, like I said, it’s very complicated.
(And I would like to acknowledge that accusing my husband of screwing up, doesn’t mean I have never screwed up, am completely blameless, or totally above reproach. I’ve screwed things up in the past, no denying it.)
I would like to tell you that our previous experience navigating the hard bits of non-monogamy has helped us navigate through these hard times. You’d think that the communication skills we had to learn to help us deal with hard emotions like jealousy and envy would come in handy here. Or that the trust we built in each other would lay a strong foundation for the cracks that have recently become visible in our relationship. Or that the self-work and personal growth in doing the work we had to do as individuals as we faced a myriad of situations in our non-monogamous explorations would come…
