So What if Non-Monogamy is a Couple’s Attempt to Keep Their Relationship Afloat?
When my long-term marriage, which started monogamous and ended non-monogamous, fell apart, I was pretty surprised to hear so many people saying “I told you so”. Surprisingly (at least to me), it wasn’t because of the decision to go from monogamy to non-monogamy itself, but because I had dared admit in several of my earlier columns that my marriage hadn’t been totally rock solid before we opened it up, nor that it was rock solid for some parts of our non-monogamous explorations. So many pundits told me we had tempted fate by opening up our previously monogamous marriage when it wasn’t entirely secure
Apparently, if you’re considering non-monogamy, you must, and I mean MUST, be sure that your relationship is perfect before anything happens.
This pressure leads a lot of writers who share their stories through personal blogs (mine included) to strongly assert that the decision to open up their relationship came at a time when their couple felt rock-solid. You’ll read all about how couples mutually, enthusiastically and whole-heartedly agreed to open up because they were sooooooo in love and happy.
Well, not to burst anyone’s bubble, but this is a lie.
I will state emphatically: No couple is 100% solid, including those who decide to open…
