Why My Non-Monogamous Marriage Ended: The Truth About Communication, Blame, and Emotional Accountability

Navigating the Aftermath of a Relationship Built on Silence

Photo by Jon Sailer on Unsplash

As many of you know from reading my blogs over the last year, my non-monogamous marriage ended rather suddenly and spectacularly when my husband decided he was done with our relationship. I’ve spent a good chunk of the last year trying to figure out what went wrong and what, if anything, I could have done differently.

Interestingly, my version of what went wrong is entirely different than his.

According to my ex, he had been miserable for years, a realization he only came to after meeting someone else. He says she was the catalyst that finally gave him the courage to tell me about his unhappiness and walk away from our marriage.

Ouch.

But why did his miserableness come as such a surprise to me??? For all our relationship, he’d been a “steady Eddie” and had never gone further than mumbling a few things he was unhappy about — like me leaving my laundry on the floor. So his declaration of having felt miserable for years just gob-smacked me.

What do you mean he’d been miserable for years??? How had I not known about that???