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Slowing Down Non Monogamy
The importance of giving time to process, feel and explore the experiences
I wish I had pasted a reminder on my mirror when I first opened up my relationship. It would have said in big bold underlined letters: “Slow the f#ck down!”. The excitement about going out on first dates, of having sex with a new man for the first time, got to me. For a while it was just so exciting that it was all I could think about. I wanted to experience everything, feel everything, as fast as I could. There were many reasons for feeling rushed — some arguably valid (like the fact that we were technically just trying out non monogamy and my husband had the option to pull the plug at any point), and some perhaps not so valid (like I just really, and I mean realllllly, wanted to have sex with another man). You can check out my post about this here if you’re interested in digging into why we acted like we were in a race against time.
But this post is about the opposite of rushing. It’s about what happened when we slowed down.
You see, when I rushed through experiencing as much of non monogamy as I could, I forgot some of the important stuff. Like checking in with my husband to make sure it was going okay for him. Like giving myself time and space to reflect on the…
